Ice Out

There is an expression here in Vermont. An expression that signifies the official, not the calendar, arrival of spring.

It’s called Ice Out.

When the last remnants of ice on the many lakes and ponds has completely melted…

Spring is here…Officially.

The trees are beginning to bud.

Little green shoots are pushing up out of the ground.

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And pretty flowers are showing off their dewy petals.

It seemed as if it were true. Spring had finally come to northern Vermont.

So I was a bit surprised to discover that the ice wasn’t completely out.

On the bigger lakes, yes.

But while out exploring I found places where the ice was still in.

Waterbury Reservoir. One of my favorite places. In all seasons.

The ice still clearly present.

And while my love for ice will always burn bright…

I’m very ready for…

Ice Out

Sea Fever

I haven’t been myself lately.

Yes, there is a lot going on in my life these days.

But it’s more than that.

My mind a little foggy. My heart a little heavy. My spirit a little weary.

My compass has felt a bit off…

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When our April break arrived, I decided to get away. To visit my sister in Rhode Island. Thinking that perhaps being in a different place would change my perspective.

It was there that I discovered what was wrong with me.

Sea Fever.

I had a case of Sea Fever.

Yes there really is such a thing…

John Masefield once wrote a poem entitled Sea Fever.

There is a memorial to those fisherman lost at sea in Point Judith with this poem inscribed.

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And there is only one cure for it.

Rhode Island is a tiny state. But its coastline goes on forever.

Time with the sea.

Waves crashing. The sound a sweet roar in my ears.

It whispered into my heart. Reminding me…

Life is like the sea.

Tumultuous and turbulent

Breakwaters absorbing some of the ocean’s violent impact

Periods of calm and tranquility

Points of light that protect and guide when there is uncertainty

Surprising and mysterious relics that take me back in time

And then back…to the present moment

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The fever subsiding…sated and quiet

For now.

It’s the Little Things

It is.

I may have lost my faith temporarily. But I do believe it’s the little things in life that see us through when nothing else makes sense.

When I slow down and look more closely at what’s in front of me…something inside flickers backs on. A glimmer perhaps…

Of hope.

This long winter is finally beginning to thaw.

I see buds.

Small but so lovely…

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I am in awe of how these tiny pods will soon open and burst with life.

These beautiful little buds remind me…

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It’s the little things in life.

Finding Faith

 

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Faith is a funny thing….

Sometimes you feel it, deep within your heart and soul.

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It calms your fears and eases your pain.  It gives you a sense of peace and hope. It protects you and keeps you safe. It is huge and encompassing. It is small and gentle.

Faith…believing that anything is possible.

And other times you seek it.

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Times when you can’t find your way because you are blinded by the darkness. You know what faith feels like. But when overwhelming  fear and doubt and worry combine, it can seem as if faith has left you…all alone in a storm that rages around you.

This is the path I find myself on right now. And I don’t recognize it.

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A pink slip, handed out to me and every teacher in my school, because our budget did not pass. Our wonderful little school may have to close.

It will be ok we are told. Things will work out they say. We are not sure we can believe them.

Our faith tries to speak up.  But the dark and harsh reality pushes it away.  This is almost too much. Fear looms and threatens…

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My faith.

I want to run and hide.

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Old thinking comes back into my head. It steals my hope and tires my spirit…

The world, always so sparkly and bright

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Seems dull and pale.

Tears brim…I fight them

But they spill over

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I pray and ask why? Why is this happening?

But no answer comes.

More than anything I want to know…

Where did my faith go?

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It has never left me before.

I was always able to fan its flames back to life.

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There are only embers now.

I want to believe what Edward Teller says.

My heart desperately wants to cling to the hope that out of this, my faith will return and teach me to fly…

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For now though…I walk lightly and quietly

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Looking, searching, seeking faith

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