Reflection

Any change in life requires a period of reflection.

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A time of looking more closely at ourselves and our lives.

A time of asking questions…

What am I learning?

How am I growing?

Where am I going?

The answers are not always clear. They are often clouded by our sadness and grief as we cope with the changes life has given us.

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Reflection means looking deeper.  Stripping away our layers. Opening up the wounds and feeling the pain. We can’t move forward until we’ve felt what needs to be felt.

And then we can let it go…

We can learn the lessons it’s trying to teach us.

We can grow in new and exciting ways.

We can begin down a new path.

Reflection is the mirror that allows us to truly see…

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Where The Wild Things Grow

A garden is a lovely thing. The assortment of blossoms, the abundance of color, the arrangement and orderliness.

A garden needs constant tending to keep up it’s appearance, and to keep it healthy and growing.

A garden is a lovely thing.

But it’s the wild flowers…

That capture my heart.

The assortment of blossoms, the abundance of color, the wildness…

There is no order, there is no arrangement.

Kind of like real life.

Messy.

Wildflowers grow anywhere. They need no tending. They get everything they need from the earth.

And they flourish all on their own.

Through harsh winters, wet springs, and dry summers…

They bloom.

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Strong…yet fragile

I long to be like the wild flowers

Wild and free

To grow wherever I am planted

And to flourish…

Salt Water Cure

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One of my most favorite of all quotes.

And I have found it to be so very true…for me.

Tears

Tears of sadness. Tears of grief. Tears of heartache.

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All kinds of tears. Sometimes a thought or memory brings tears to our eyes .

Other times our crying is deep and long.

Agony and ache pours out from deep inside our hearts and down our cheeks.

I sometimes wonder how can I have so many tears?

But tears happen for a reason. They allow our pain a way out.

When something is no longer painful…the tears for it will stop.

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Sweat

There is nothing quite like the feeling that comes after a strenuous hike.

I may begin tentatively, unsure of my footing, legs and heart weary…But I keep going.

I keep going until the sweat pours down my face…and I reach the summit.

And for those few moments in time, everything is forgotten…

 I feel euphoric instead of sad. I feel successful instead of defeated.

I feel replenished instead of empty.

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The Sea

Everyone knows the healing power of the sea.

The ebb and flow of tides…so like our emotions.

Infinite and vast.  The sea and sky seemingly endless.

Our grief seems so small in comparison.

And the ocean reminds us…life goes on.

Soon…I will make my way back to the sea…to finish this healing process.

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Then perhaps I can say goodbye to this part of my life

Turn the page

And say hello to the next chapter…

Beautiful Thoughts

It sounds a little hokey…this idea of beautiful thoughts.

Especially while in the grips of coping with a loss. My thoughts can be anything but beautiful.

Yet each day I try.

I try to begin my day thinking of beautiful things.

And end my day remembering the beautiful things I experienced that day…no matter how small or few.

Beautiful places I have discovered…

Beautiful things I have seen…

Beautiful things I have felt…

 Today, I think, is going to be beautiful…

Devil’s Gulch

That was the intended destination. It sounded like a perfect hike on a warm spring day. A place full of towering boulders and mystery where eerie sounds are said to be heard.

I needed distraction. I needed to move my body to help heal my spirit.

Devil’s Gulch.

2.5 miles in via the Long Trail.

The hike was different.

Up, up, up…then down, down, down.

Way down

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The ancient stone staircase that seemed to go down forever.

I was thinking…I’m going to have to climb back up those stairs.

Then, through the trees, I caught a glimpse of something…

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Water. A beaver pond? A marsh? A lake?

Hidden out here in the middle of nowhere?

Suddenly I didn’t care about having to climb back up those stairs.

I wanted to find the water.

But I kept descending. Glimpses let me know it was pretty big this body of water. Devil’s Gulch now forgotten. I was on a quest…

An intersection. I went left. Down towards where I thought the water might be.

And it was…

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I felt like I’d found paradise…

A little slice of heaven. Here, deep in the Green Mountain forest.

I didn’t wanted to leave.

This place felt magical…soothing…peaceful.

A place to sit for a while…

Where the real world feels far far away.

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I never made it to Devil’s Gulch.

I don’t think that was the destination intended for me that day…