Holding On

In AA we often talk about how hard it is to sometimes let go. Whether it’s a person we loved. A thing we’ve lost. A place we miss. Or lingering feelings…

We try.

Like the clouds after a thunderstorm has passed…

Like the final remnants of foliage on the trees in late fall…

Like the last bits of ice on a frozen lake…

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Like the buds pushing up through the warming spring soil…

We try.

This trying is at the heart of our recovery. The heart of our healing. And the heart of our growth.

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But it isn’t easy.

So we learn to go through, not around or over or under. But sometimes we turn around and look back. It is the looking back that trips us up. We want to hold on.

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Sometimes we see the past not as it was, but so much prettier and nicer. And we begin to romance our past. We forget so easily what it was really like and we take excursions back there. Entering those bad neighborhoods in our minds that were so harmful and hurtful.

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This is the disease of alcoholism. Putting down the drink is just the first step. Recovery is a life long process. A journey of steps and progress, one day at a time.

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I’ve been visiting bad neighborhoods lately in my mind. But I know the way out today. And while the letting go is harder than the holding on…

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Letting go is about having faith that we will find better neighborhoods.

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Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving until the past no longer pulls us back.

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Letting go is walking in the present with gratitude and grace.

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18 thoughts on “Holding On

  1. I like the idea of not looking back or romanticizing the ‘negative’ or ‘bad’ past. This works like a potion on my brain, which wants to forgive a man and allow him back in, a poison, since I will never be his favorite. I loved the simplicity but power, the gentle beauty in those precious little growths, trying to ‘hold on.’ I like that song, “Hold on for one more day…” Those girls could harmonize, Tracy! (Wilson Phillips, right?) xox

    • Great song!!! And yes…poison and toxic to try to hold on or forget. Forgiving is ok since we do it for ourselves…Hold on friend to those that matter!! Oxox

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