Shadow Boxing

In AA, as we work Step 4, we look deeply at ourselves to illuminate those things that we need to change or work on. I’ve also heard this called “shadow boxing”. Because it is the darker parts of our hearts and souls where these things reside. In the shadows…

This process is important. For many reasons. It is shining a light on our darkest parts so that we can see them more clearly and so that we can begin to grow in new ways and new directions. Because once those shadows are in the light they have less power over us.

It is said that in the midst of great loss, failure, and struggle we move from unconsciousness to a deeper awareness and consciousness. We feel an inner freedom. We find grace. And we see rightly. From darkness to lightness. A spiritual awakening.

Our souls grow best in the shadowlands.

In the light, there will still be shadows. But now they can reflect truth and radiate compassion for others who also have shadows. They allow us to love and be loved. They are what make us human and ever evolving works in progress.

Shadow boxing…another gift of sobriety.

Eternal Spring

As I write this, it is 20 degrees below zero.  Spring, according to the calendar, is just a few weeks away.  Somehow I think it might take a bit longer to arrive here in the north country.

It has been a brutally cold winter.  Yet I know it won’t last forever.  I also know that inside of me there is hope.  Spring will come and we will welcome her with open arms.

I like to think that spring is eternal.

It is within us all.  At any time of the year.

 At any point in our lives.

Spring can be felt and experienced and shared.

Spring is rebirth, growth, unfolding, opening.

It is hope, faith, optimism, joy.

 Spring is alive, vibrant, colorful, rich.

It is earthy, sultry, sweet, delicate.

 Spring is so much more than just a season.

It is how life can be lived…eternally

Cabin Fever

Here in the north country, it’s been cold. Not just cold but brutally cold. Well below zero cold. The cold that you just can’t seem to warm up from. Cold that settles deep in your bones. And it seems there is no end in sight.

Yes there has been an abundance of sunshine.
Yes there has been an abundance of snow.

A perfect winter you think.

But it has also been cold. It is the kind of cold that prevents us from enjoying all that sun and snow.

And it causes a common ailment to occur:

Cabin Fever

Cabin fever begins with a slight feeling of agitation. Bundling up just to start your car in the morning and it sounds like a dying animal. This then leads to irritation and resentment.  Complusively checking the weather forecast and then groaning when you see it. Next comes the glimpse of hope. It’s above zero. You go outside only to run back in because with the wind chill, it’s still below zero.

You feel trapped. You find inside things to do but feel a bit lethargic and unmotivated. You daydream about warmer times and warmer places.

You worship your wood stove and try to find gratitude in the little things…like having a wood stove.

Here in Vermont, we are hearty. We know how to dress for the weather. We know how to survive these cold spells. We have done it countless times before. Yet each year when it arrives again, we forget that we know what to do. We forget to have faith that this too shall pass. Because it always does.

So we do the best we can. We read and write and create and pass the time. We complain to friends and family and strangers and we eat more chocolate…we eat more period.

The weather forecast for this weekend isn’t horrible. 14 above for a high seems almost balmy. Perhaps there will be a chance to get out and play. Perhaps we can alleviate our cabin fever for a few hours. Perhaps…

I’ll let you know on Monday!

Nothing But Blue Skies

It truly has been a beautiful winter so far. Lots of snow. And an abundance of sunshine.

It is the sun that chases away the winter blues. Or perhaps it’s a little bit more than that.

January, a month typically dreaded here in the north country, is showing us a different side. Or perhaps it’s me that is seeing things differently.

The blues I felt last winter? They are gone. And this January, I find myself singing a happier sort of tune.

Because there is nothing but blue skies…

Weekly Photo Challenge: Shadowed

Tree shadows

Shadowed

Serendipity

On the path of life, we sometimes experience serendipity.

Serendipity happens. In fact it happens all the time. Finding something wonderful while not looking for it.

I love the idea of happy accidents and pleasant surprises. And I’ve experienced it. The kind of serendipity that takes your breath away. That makes you say Wow. That makes your heart smile and your soul sing.

Serendipity is magical. No matter how big or small it may seem. It opens you up to the possibility that something much larger is at work in our lives.

Of course we have to be open ourselves to moments of serendipity. We must be receptive or it might just pass by, unnoticed.

The more open I am, the more I notice serendipity. The more I feel connections with the world around me and what it’s trying to tell me, the more serendipity I experience.

The unexpected gifts in life…

Beautiful, wondrous, serendipitous.

A Winter Wonderland

A Nor’easter visited us last Tuesday. And lasted for over 3 days.

It stalled and dumped heavy snow that measured in feet. It downed trees and power lines. It closed schools and roads. It left a trail of destruction.

And then when the clouds finally cleared and sun shone…it also left a winter wonderland.

Words cannot describe the beauty and magic of the snow laden trees.

Their limbs bending down to kiss the earth.

Their icy branches glistening in the sun.

Birches bowing deeply over roads and trails.

Pines tall and straight coated in white frosting.

I was transported into an enchanted land. A forest of delight. A Robert Frost poem that left me in awe at the power and wonder of Mother Nature.

As I left, I said a prayer for those still without power. I raised my hand in thanks to the many utility trucks along the road. And I felt grateful for being able to experience this…

A true winter wonderland.

Room to Breathe

Hunting season, for the most part, is over here in Vermont. This means I can get outside again and explore. It means I can visit and revisit the places I love so much. And it means I can find room to spread my wings and to breathe more deeply.

Winter is long. And it’s only just beginning. Finding solace and happiness in nature can become a little more challenging.

But I manage. I find that I am able to replenish my spirit even with small adventures and short journeys. I don’t need to travel far to find what my soul needs.

I don’t need to look too hard to feel peace and serenity in the world around me.

I am blessed to be able to immerse myself completely, engage all my senses, and feel all the incredible beauty that surrounds me.

Even in winter. Especially in winter.

There’s something unique about adventuring in the winter. The snow, the ice, the cold, the bare trees and frozen landscape…it seems as if the earth has expanded instead of contracting.

And there truly is more room…to breathe.

 

The Blues

Here in Vermont, as March winds slowly down, we are all singing the blues.

Snow and cold..seem to be the only refrain we hear.

It appears to be a never-ending song.

Perhaps it helps us pass this time…as it did long ago in the cotton fields of the Deep South…as we wait, not so patiently, for spring.

The color blue…complex and contradictory.

Nature’s color for water and sky…

Often associated with sadness and depression. Appropriate for the winter blues.

Yet is also symbolizes peace, tranquility and calm…

Heavenly, infinite and ethereal…

The blues are a part of life.

We see them, feel them…

And we find ways to chase them away.

Sometimes in the middle of our tune, we even find reasons to smile…

Swinger of Birches

Robert Frost.

I drove by his house today. And the lovely park memorializing his poetry and celebrating his love of the natural world.

Phrases from his poems poignant and beautiful, often travel through my head.

“…So was I once myself a swinger of birches.

And so I dream of going back to be.

It’s when I’m weary of considerations,

And life is too much like a pathless wood

Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs

Broken across it, and one eye is weeping

From a twig’s having lashed across it open.

I’d like to get away from earth awhile

And then come back to it and begin over.

May no fate willfully misunderstand me

And half grant what I wish and snatch me away

Not to return. Earth’s the right place for love:

I don’t know where it’s likely to go better.

I’d like to go by climbing a birch tree,

And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk

Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,

But dipped its top and set me down again.

That would be good both going and coming back.

One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.”

Bits and pieces. A few words here and there.

Never whole verses.

Today

The birches inspired me…they reminded me…and they comforted me.

Just as Robert Frost’s poems often do.

It has been a very long winter. But spring is coming.

Until then, I’ll be a swinger of birches…